Rollerball (2002)

Set in the near future (possibly the early 2000s lol), our film begins with Jonathan (Chris Klein) accepting a dangerous dare which leads to him being hunted by police within the city. While on the run from the cops, Jonathan bumps into an old friend who just happens to be in the right place at the right time. His friend Marcus (Played by LL Cool J) suggests now is the time to do something better in life and suggests Jonathan joins him by his side on the “Rollerball “team. Naturally with the police trying to hunt Jonathan down, he decides to escape the city and run away from the police by accepting his friend’s offer, becoming a professional player in “Rollerball”. While participating in the world’s most-watched and dangerous game, Jonathan suspects foul play from the hierarchy above. He believes that someone is setting up players in his team to get injured, or, worse, die, which would result in boosting both television ratings and larger bets from people among the crowd.

One of my biggest surprises while watching the start of this film was that there was no character setup (seriously none). From the get-go, all the introduction (Jonathan accepting a bet and suddenly bumping into his old friend at just the right time) is so far fetched, and along with that, there is zero reasons to care for any leading character because of the lack of setup. After the introduction, the film continues to ignore any element of character development and jumps straight into a game of Rollerball with our leading cast.

Let’s talk about Rollerball as a game. There are two teams in which the players are all on rollerblades. A metal ball drops and the teams are required to collect the ball, go around a specific path and then dunk the ball into a goal. The arena for Rollerball is also filled with Rock N’ Roll music and an audience making large bets. It’s boring. While the film can explain the workings and rules of Rollerball, when it’s game time in the movie, as a viewer, it is genuinely impossible to follow. When a game of Rollerball is in motion, the filming style is full of close-ups. The Rollerball sequences in the film also go for a longer duration. When the viewer can’t follow what’s going on, it’s a painful experience to watch lengthy sequences and uninteresting. Not to mention the spoon-feeding of information by the commentators that’s also overused here.

As a plot, it’s incredibly thin, but it also takes a long time to get going. It takes at least 30 mins until any type of developed plot surfaces. The outcomes are predictable, and the plot speaks down to its audience as if we will never guess who the bad guy is. Villains are also childish and silly.

To give the film some credit, I liked the way Rollerball looks. The arena itself and some of the costume design work is probably the only central element I find enjoyable within this remake. Nudity in certain scenes is unnecessary, and one location, in particular, chooses to use a “Night Vision effect” which doesn’t hold up on the Blu-ray.

Supporting actors such as Jean Reno & LL Cool J is incredibly way over the top and give a confident yet dissatisfying performance. Actress Rebecca Romijn is flat and serves no real purpose to the film other than to give our leading man a love interest and a dream to fight on.

Overall, I’m shocked. Quite possibly one of the worst remakes I have ever seen in film history. With uninteresting characters and a thin (yet predictable) plot, Rollerball’s excitement fizzles rather quickly. The game itself is hard to follow due to excessive close-ups. And to think, this film was directed by John McTiernan. He’s the man and legend who gave us the most fantastic Christmas film ever made: Die Hard (1988). In the end, we’re all human and make mistakes in life. If you decide to watch this film you just made one of them.

1.1/10

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The Jungle Bunch is a group of animals who, when called upon, will help and save the day. Whether it's another animal in need of urgent help or an area in the jungle that requires their attention, their goal and desire is to help maintain peace and harmony. When one...

The Canterville Ghost (2023)

In the late 1800s, there's a wild storm during the night right at bedtime for Lord Monroe (Bill Lobley), the proud owner of a stunningly large manor house in Canterville Chase, England. However, before going to bed with his teddy bear, Lord Monroe encounters something...

Career Opportunities (1991)

Jim (Frank Whaley) isn't the brightest bloke in the community. He struggles to hold a job, still lives with his parents, continually lies to everyone around him, and has failed to discover his true purpose as an adult. When Jim loses his job at an animal shelter, his...

Destroy All Neighbors (2024)

William Brown (Jonah Ray) is a passionate rock musician and composer with one major issue: he's unable to create the perfect song to take him further. When William isn't working on his music or spending time with his partner, he works at a recording studio as an...

The Holdovers (2023)

Paul Hunham (Paul Giamatti) is a teacher at a prep school located in New England during the 1970s. Paul is a firm, strict, and extremely cranky teacher and is disliked by students and co-workers alike. As school breaks up for another year over Christmas, many students...

Stargate (1994)

In 1928 Giza, Egypt, an incredible, large artifact is discovered by a group of archaeologists. We then jump to the present day and are introduced to Dr. Daniel Jackson (James Spader), an archaeologist knowledgeable about ancient Egypt, including translating the...

The Man in Half Moon Street (1945)

Who was Julian Karell, and where did he come from? What manner of man was he? For some, he was a fine, incredibly courageous scientist who lost track of truth. Another man claims that Karell was a cold-blooded murderer and a remarkable criminal. Lastly, we hear from a...

Kane (2023)

The film opens with a game of chess being played by two mysterious men and a voiceover letting us know who they are: Abe (Jeremy Lindsay Taylor) and Frankie (Nathan Phillips). Abe is an old-school gangster who has dissociative identity disorder, meaning there are...

Top Rated Films of 2023

You can agree that 2023 was another outstanding year for cinema. Below is a list of my favourites and, once again, my top ten titles. Trust me when I say it: it was a challenge to narrow it down to number one. On behalf of my family and myself, I would like to take...

Anyone But You (2023)

It all begins when Bea (Sydney Sweeney) rushes into a local cafe, hoping to use the toilet. The cafe staff are not helpful, but Bea is rescued by a nearby knight in shining armour, Ben (Glen Powell). Regardless of a few funny and awkward moments between Bea and Ben,...

Ferrari (2023)

Set in 1957, Enzo Ferrari (Adam Driver) is an ex-race car driver and the current owner of a well-known Italian car company. However, Ferrari is currently in hot water due to the lack of sales. Enzo's wife, Laura (Penélope Cruz), also works with him as a business...

Dream Scenario (2023)

Paul (Nicolas Cage) is a biology professor with a wife and two teenage daughters. There are multiple challenges for Paul, including trying to fulfil his long-term dreams of writing and publishing a book. Many around Paul live a life of success and wealth, but for...

The Shift (2023)

While sitting at a bar and drinking alone, Kevin (Kristoffer Polaha) meets his true love, Molly (Elizabeth Tabish). Instantly, Kevin is smitten by her to the point he is willing to make significant changes in his life, such as taking a deeper step into church and...

The Boys in the Boat (2023)

In the 1930s, Joe (Callum Turner) is studying to become an engineer at university. Financially, he is struggling to make ends meet as he pays off school fees. Unsuccessful at finding a job, he is sleeping in his car each night. Joe hears of a paying job for the...

Coup de Chance (2023)

When Fanny (Lou de Laâge) walks along a busy street, she soon hears her name being called out from afar. A man approaches her, claiming to know her from high school. At first, Fanny is surprised but soon learns the man is Alain (Niels Schneider). Once upon a time,...

Wonka (2023)

After seven years of living on the ocean, Willy Wonka (Timothée Chalamet) has decided to say farewell to the sea and start afresh in a city over the horizon. Willy Wonka is a skilled magician and chocolate maker with determined dreams of opening a brand-new chocolate...

Merry Little Batman (2023)

It's the Christmas season in Wayne Manor, and the only thing that six-year-old Damian Wayne (Yonas Kibreab) wants is to fight crime with his father, Batman, aka Bruce Wayne (Luke Wilson). On Christmas Eve, Bruce decides to give Damian his present early. Damian eagerly...

Wish (2023)

When he and his family are attacked, Magnifico (Chris Pine) decides to start afresh somewhere safe. Travelling far, far away, Magnifico and his wife find an island where they can begin a new life, welcoming others to join them and live in harmony. In time, a new...

Time Addicts (2023)

Denise (Freya Tingley) and Johnny (Charles Grounds) are a pair of good mates who are lovers of all things drug-related. Both Denise and Johnny are eager to get some more drugs, having recently run out and needing a quick fix. However, when it comes to finances,...

Master Gardener (2022)

Narvel (Joel Edgerton) cares for the garden at the luxury home of Mrs Haverhill (Sigourney Weaver). During his preparations of the garden for the Spring Charity Auction, word is received that Mrs. Haverhill would like to speak privately with Narvel. Upon their...

Candy Cane Lane (2023)

It's Christmas time, which means a critical thing for family man Chris (Eddie Murphy): the opportunity to enter one of the most exciting contests of the year. Chris will again compete with his fellow neighbours, all of whom will decorate their homes to the best of...

Silent Night (2023)

After witnessing the brutal murder of his son during a drive-by shooting, Brian (Joel Kinnaman) instantly chases after the men involved. However, during a showdown, Brian is gunned down and badly wounded. The results of the chase and his wounds leave Brian recovering...

Slotherhouse (2023)

Emily (Lisa Ambalavanar) is a young student in a sorority house who lacks the confidence to raise her hand in the upcoming election for sorority president. While shopping at her local mall, an incident occurs, and she meets a stranger who has animals for sale,...

It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)

It's Christmas Eve in the small town of Angel Falls. Winnie’s (Jane Widdop) Christmas holidays are less than pleasing. The city is dramatically changing due to the town's mayor, Henry Waters (Justin Long), who is continually forcing people out of their homes due to...

Trolls Band Together (2023)

Long before Branch (Justin Timberlake) ever met Poppy (Anna Kendrick), Branch was a member of the famous pop band "BroZone". Made up of Branch and his brothers, the band was doing well until they had a disagreement before a massive performance. The arguments and...

The Old Oak (2023)

TJ Ballantyne (Dave Turner) owns “The Old Oak”, a pub in a village north of England. The pub has seen better days and relies on a small group of regular customers who visit often. It's also evident that the community members have never recovered from the loss of the...

The Skeleton Key (2005)

Caroline (Kate Hudson) is a skilled nurse, continually exhausted from witnessing facilities and workers treat patients as disposable. Seeking a healthier environment, Caroline quits her current position and seeks alternative employment. After perusing the ads in the...

Uproar (2023)

In the early '80s, Josh (Julian Dennison) is a seventeen-year-old high school student. Each day at school, Josh does his best to keep to himself, keeping his head down to avoid conflict with fellow students. Life for Josh has its challenges. Not only is he constantly...

Christmess (2023)

Chris (Steve Le Marquand) was once a famous actor, featuring in many hit films. However, a growing addiction to alcohol changed everything for the worse. Not only did Chris find himself in rehab, but over the years, he has become highly distant from his only daughter,...

The Royal Hotel (2023)

Two backpackers and good friends, Hanna (Julia Garner) and Liv (Jessica Henwick), are having the time of their lives as the cruise ship they are currently travelling on enters Sydney, Australia. However, their wild times of travelling and partying halt when Liv...

Thanksgiving (2023)

It was supposed to be just another Black Friday sale in a large retail store located in Plymouth, Massachusetts. However, the actions of several people from the community led to something terrible occurring during the opening of the retailer, ending with tragedy,...

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)

Sixty-four years before Katniss’ The Hunger Games (2012), young Coriolanus Snow (Tom Blyth) is attempting to earn a scholarship with great rewards. On the day Coriolanus expects to receive the prize for all his strenuous efforts, unexpected changes are made to the...

Interview: Madeleine Dyer / A Savage Christmas (2023)

Walkden Entertainment (aka Peter Walkden) had the honour and pleasure of chatting with Madeleine Dyer, director and co-writer of A Savage Christmas (2023), which is available in Australian Cinemas from November 16th. After years of estrangement, trans woman Davina...

Next Goal Wins (2023)

The American Samoa soccer team is famous but for all the wrong reasons. They are known for their tragic losses, including the embarrassing defeat by Australia in which American Samoa lost 31-0. Conversely, Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) has been sacked from...

The Marvels (2023)

Captain Marvel/Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) continues to protect and serve all in our universe. A new enemy named Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton) has arisen, seeking a pair of powerful ancient armbands that she hopes will restore her home planet, Hala. While Dar-Benn...

Shortcomings (2023)

In a Californian cinema, a new film is introduced during a film festival, and among the audience are Ben (Justin H. Min) and his current partner, Miko (Ally Maki). As the film credits roll, Ben is utterly unimpressed, while his partner and the audience around him are...

The Dive (2023)

Two sisters, May (Louisa Krause) and Drew (Sophie Lowe) are spending the day together by driving and heading to a mysterious location. While driving, the pair engaged in basic catch-up conversation and got up to date with their present lives. Soon, May and Drew arrive...

Scarygirl (2023)

The Keeper (Anna Torv) is seeking a rare mythical octopus and is currently offering various bandits and bounty hunters a high-paying reward. While the reward is impressive, the only problem is that it's nearly impossible for anyone to find one! After a brief...

When Evil Lurks (2023)

In a small remote village, we follow a pair of brothers, Pedro (Ezequiel Rodríguez) and Jimi (Demián Salomón), who hear strange noises from afar. Working together, the pair investigate, discovering that a demon has heavily infected a man, and it is ready to give...

Hot Potato: The Story of the Wiggles (2023)

I would be utterly speechless if you told me you've never heard of the greatest band in Australia. This band, many would claim, is like The Beatles but made for toddlers. You may have heard of The Wiggles, Anthony (The Blue Wiggle), Murray (The Red Wiggle), Greg (The...

Night of the Hunted (2023)

Alice (Camille Rowe) is travelling a long distance home after attending a work conference. Spending the night at a hotel before another long day of travel, Alice receives a phone call from her partner at 2 a.m. in the morning, confirming that she will make it to her...

A Savage Christmas (2023)

It's Christmas Day, and following tradition, the Savage family is all coming together in a sweet home in Australia. It's no secret that the family has had challenges and past disagreements. Nevertheless, the Savages have decided to come together and celebrate the day...

Monolith (2022)

A mysterious man opens the film with a narrative, telling viewers how he wants to share a secretive story, revealing that there was something different about his family when he was a young child. In this story, he shares critical details of a stalker who claims to be...